Light travels faster than sound. This is why some SharePoint consultants appear bright until you hear them speak.
A good SharePoint consultant is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you look forward to the trip.
SharePoint work is something you do that nobody notices until you don't do it.
I should've known it wasn't going to work out between my ex-girlfriend and me. After all, I'm a SharePoint and she's a Documentum.
Kerberos with SharePoint is sort of like a bird, it's pretty cute until it shits on your head.
The secret to success as a SharePoint consultant is knowing who to blame for your failures.
SharePoint Consultant to client - 'We don't have a SharePoint performance problem; You have a perception problem.'
SharePoint analyst to programmer: "You start coding. I'll go find out what they want."
The first half of my life was ruined by my parents, and the second half by SharePoint.
TIP: If you are a SharePoint admin and you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of SharePoint service packs.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like SharePoint end users.
I like SharePoint, It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
What did one sharepoint site say to another sharepoint site?
Hey, aren't we called webs?
What did the end user say to the developer?
Oh, I didn't create that column, I was smart, I just renamed the "title" column!
What did one sharepoint web developer say to the asp.net developer?
What did the production portal say to the author portal?
I'm sorry, I can't seem to find your object!
What did the parent content type say to the child content type?
I won't give you my jeans, but I'll buy you another pair just like them and we can share!
How many people does it take to create a web part?
two, one to write the code, another to figure out the permissions problem in production!
How many times does it take to create a Shared Service Provider?
3, one time to screw it up without knowing it, twice to do it because sharepoint won't do right the second time and
the third after you have blown away everything and started over!
What did the server admin say to the sharepoint web developer?
Why can't we just do this with static html?
what did the sharepoint 2003 environment tell the sharepoint 2007 environment?
Don't worry, reboot will still fix everything.
What did the sharepoint admin do to fix an "Unexpected Error has occured"
Delete sharepoint and start again!
What did one w3wp process say to the other?
Hey, can I borrow one of your SPSite's? You have plenty!
One day a user called the helpdesk, no one answered. Being that he was in the helpdesk office he walked down and asked the admin why they weren't answering.
She simply stated, they quit when they heard we were implementing sharepoint!
A consultant was asked to build an estimate for a SharePoint two layer approval workflow with SharePoint Designer.
The consultant never replied. When asked "why", he simply stated, "Impossible".